四级写作经典范文及点评:忙碌的重要性

2017-12-26 12:01:56 

现代生活节奏紧张,忙碌使许多人感到疲惫不堪,但忙碌对生活却有着十分重要的意义。孰不闻“勤能补拙”,孰不知“业精于勤”,“勤有三益”?

Importance of Being Busy
Sometimes life becomes so busy that you feel as if you are the only person to whom the whole world has been merciless and that you are the only person who is working harder than anyone else. Yes, the grass on the other side of the fence is always greener and fresher.
However, the more things one has to do or one is into, the greater the involvement in a mental, physical or social way in these things.① Due to this, one’s own personal problems are out of sight, because all the time one’s mind is thinking of completing the undertaken tasks.② Problems, once they are out of sight are out of mind.
Each thing that we do adds a new dimension to our personality. It shapes our thinking and makes us more organized, experienced, knowledgeable and creative. The time and sweat that we put in everyday into our tasks is the brick and mortar of our future. So friends, it is always better to be busy rather than idle. Now hasn’t everyone heard that an idle mind is the devil’s workshop? Behind every successful man is a devotedly followed busy schedule rather than a woman.

[200 words]

行文点评
文章结构总分总。
首句使用了so ... that句型,强调现代生活的忙碌程度。第二句用grass作比喻支持了首句。第二段以However开始,笔锋一转,指出忙碌使一个人投入到所做的每一件都会对我们有好处,并引用谚语an idle mind is the devil’s workshop,从反面说明闲散的危害。结尾以改编名言的形式画龙点睛。
文章短小精炼,正文中没有出现important或importance等词,却将忙碌的重要性论述得合情合理,水到渠成。文章使用比喻、谚语等写作手法使语言生动活泼,句式多变新颖,如第二段首句使用the more the greater句型,不仅在内容上强调了第3段首可而且在可式上显得有所变化,避无单一。第三段第二句中则以四个并列的形容词organized, experienced knowledgeable and creative深化观点。

好文妙译
忙碌的重要性
有时候生活变得如此繁忙,以至于你觉得仿佛你是惟一一个世界对你无情的人,而且你是世界上惟一一个比谁工作都辛苦的人。的确,邻家芳草总是更绿、更新鲜。
然而,一个人越有事情要做或正在做,他投入到这些事情中的精力、体力和社交就越多。由此,一个人就看不到自己的个人问题了,因为他的心里总是在想着如何完成承担的任务。问题一旦眼不见了,心也就不烦了。
我们做的每件事都会提升我们的人格魅力。它塑造我们的思想,让我们更具组织性,更有经验,知识更渊博也更具创造力。我们每天为完成任务所花的时间和所流的汗水就是建筑我们未来的一砖一瓦。因此,朋友们,忙碌总比无所事事好。大家不是都听过“游手好闲的头脑就是魔鬼的作坊”这句话吗?每个成功男人的背后是一张兢兢业业的繁忙的日程表,而不是一个女人。

词汇斟酌
merciless a. 无慈悲心的,残忍的
undertake vt. 承担,担任,着手作;答应,保证
dimension n. 方面,特点;尺度,深度;面积
creative a. 创造性的,有创造力的
mortar n. 砂浆,灰浆
devotedly ad. 忠实的,一心一意的
schedule n. 时间表,进度表,计划,安排

佳句临摹
①【注释】the more ... the ...越…越…
【临摹】The truth of life is that the more you want the less you get.生活的真谛就是你想要的越多,反而得到的就越少。
②【注释】out of sight看不见了,不让人看见
【临摹】They looked for the cyclist but he was already out of sight.他们找那个骑自行车的人,但是已经看不见他了。

思如泉涌
Progress is the activity of today and the assurance of tomorrow.进步是今天的活动,明天的保证。
Better wear out shoes than sheets.宁可磨破鞋子,也不要蹭破床单;宁奔波健身也不贪睡而得病。

四级写作经典范文及点评:忙碌的重要性》永久阅读地址: http://91kudian.com/yingyu/27205/